6 Things Single Parents should always remember:

1.  Single parents have to deal with many tough questions. The most common one, "where is my daddy/mummy”? One has to handle these questions in a very tactful and matured manner to ensure that the children clearly understand the responsibilities of a single parent and also respect that. Being a single parent can be really tough, but it is not impossible. Best way to handle your kid’s innocent questions is to be truthful to them and by doing so you will definitely earn their respect.

2.  Always understand that its ok to feel lost and its even more ok to follow that some days are better spent in bed. Take your time and bounce back.  It takes confidence, resilience and courage and each in double the amount. First thing which one has to sort out in one’s head is that you are not alone, because there are many children who are living with single parent. Once you start venturing out you will notice far more single parent than you imagined.

3.  Sometimes the memories are what keep us from moving on, but eventually all things fall into place. Until then, what you must believe in is that everything happens for a reason. Remember, no storm lasts forever. Hold on! Be brave! Have faith! Every storm is temporary and we're never alone. So the best way is to calm yourself, take life one-step at a time. You have rest of the life to plot and plan. 

4. It’s obvious to have fears, which is why we have friends and family. Confide in them for sound advice and comfort. Get a grip of you earnings, savings and investments. Ensure that you work double of what you were doing, so that you make more than you can spend, have that contingency fund available. You must strategize and ensure three goals on the priority list i.e – buying a home, saving for your child’s college, investing for retirement.

5.  Don't cry over the past, it's gone. Don't stress about the future, it hasn't arrived. Live in the present and make it count. Life goes on. Always remember that. Get control of your life. Take that mentor out for lunch to explore opportunities in your profession.

6.   Silence speaks when words can't. Over-thinking will destroy you; just forgive them because you are strong enough to know people do make mistakes. Get real with yourself. Start making each personal and financial decision a conscious one and not out of that impulse. You will feel more empowered and confident about your life and money.

7.   You learn more about someone at the end of a relationship than at the beginning. Anybody’s life isn't perfect, but be thankful for everything you have because the fact is that you never know how good you have it until you hear someone else's story.

Remember getting back on your feet after that breakup can be a long process full of emotional and financial setbacks. But not to forget this can also be most exciting and empowering times of your life. So take it to your stride.

 Tôbe Êkla chôlo, êkla chôlo, êkla chôlo, êkla chôlo re

Open thy mind walk alone
Be not afraid, walk alone

5 Reasons why “All that glitters is not gold”. “Har Chamakti Cheez Sona Nahi Hoti”.

This is dedicated to all the new MOMs to be MOMs and Teenage daughters.

Outward appearance can be extremely misleading. Lets take an example. Like Fairy tales “Happily ever after” - what exactly this means? Is there any story to prove that “happily ever after exists”? Well I haven’t read any. Ok! So basis my observations, and self-experience let me try to take you to the world of ever after… 

I always wonder why world’s greatest love stories never had a happy ending? Because there is nothing called “Happily ever after” Its Just a MYTH. Why do all fairy tales, Mills and Boons and other romantic stories ends at “Happily ever after”. Because there is no story after that, it’s only a struggle. A wrestle within. More often, there may not be one reason that you can pinpoint, but a series of reasons for why things doesn’t remain the same or even somewhere close to what you had imagined while entering into that bond.

Tips to replace “Happily Ever After” into a Contented and peaceful life would be:

1.     Stop analyzing life because it only makes it more complicated. It’s much easier to just live it. Personally I am afraid that if I think too much about everything that could have been, and never was, I will only fall into a dark hole and will gradually loose touch with myself. It’s just not worth it

2.    Be smart to understand that life is no storybook where 1st chapter starts with “Once upon a time” and ends with “Happily ever after”. There is ZERO possibility of any Prince charming coming and telling you “No matter what you do, I will always find you”. For those beautiful sweethearts out there who are less aware, let me warn you, Prince charming is just an IDEA. He is just a fiction hero of every Fairy tale and doesn’t exist in reality.

3.    Don’t disillusion your life for figment of imagination. Remember dreaming isn’t as simple as it seems. In fact it is quiet dangerous. Always remember that when you dream, you must make a choice of what price to pay.

4.    Remove your rose tinted glasses and start seeing world as it is. I live in a fantasy world and I realize that i feel I am lying every day to myself and I don’t know where I am heading. It is like being one of those fallen dead leaves on the ground, who lived thinking it would be everlasting and dies without knowing exactly why? Who loved sun, moon, stars, seas and mountains, who believed in fairy tales and its perfect world and some day died wondering.

5.    Eventually all things fall into place. Until then, laugh at the confusion, live for the moments, and know everything happens for a reason. Finally, Time will march on.

At the end, having said all about the world where our fantasy shatters when it meets reality, just try imagining your life without your spouse; what bothers you the most? Exactly! This feeling which the question has given you is "your answer". For most of us it’s the companionship, which we don’t want to let go off. The very thought of coming back to an empty home not for days but for rest of our lives is very gut wrenching. Actions have power, its better to make best of what we have rather than procrastinating over things that doesn’t exist.

6 Important Life Lessons I Learnt After Being Away From Home, Which made me believe that hostel life cant be ignored for Children.

I was lucky to be born and bought up in a middle class, which prioritized academics. Thankfully ours was a gender-neutral family. May be this is one of the reasons why till date it remains a mystery to me that if my parents in 20th century in a place like Bihar have such an open outlook why can’t parents of 21st century think the same. Both my parents encouraged my education. I could have got away with anything in the name of education. I was good in academics but that was purely by chance, I was never too ambitious, someone getting more marks never bothered me. My primary objective was to have fun in life, be with friends, go to parties, volunteer for NGO, art, etc. with a motive to keep me outside house so that I can get my share of freedom and fun. Time passed and I reached 12th std and I hadn’t made any life goals yet. Only objective was to score in 12th exam so that I can get admission in Delhi University and get a chance to start staying on my own, away from parent’s restrictions and have a life of my own. The idea of staying on my own, experience independence, taking decisions - good, bad, ugly, facing the outside world, experience life, night life in particular, negative, positive, all was very thrilling and exciting. Thankfully without much genuine effort I managed good rank, which got me admission in Miranda House Delhi University. Now why this particular college? Well this was the only condition of my father to let me live in a strange city (actually in this college his friend’s daughters were also studying which made him feel more in control) and since I was too obsessed with the idea of living on my own so I readily agreed to his wish (though secretly I had always wanted to go to Hindu or HansRaj). 

I was seventeen, sort of confident, sort of not, but eager for adventure. We didn’t have mobile phones, only hand written letters and telephone booth, which meant limited communication with parents. I knew things would change. I will be out of the shield and protected environment. A bit scared and a bit excited. I left home with a bag full of cloths and two bags full of books.

I remember going out on my own, chatting/gossiping whole night, sleeping whole day, eating Maggie for lunch, bunking classes, etc…etc. It was an amazing sense of independence, and this staying away from the “comfort” and “protected” environment of home did teach me some valuable life lessons which otherwise were very difficult to know. Few of which are:

1.      The value of that phone calls from home. When at home we craved for some private time with friends and now nothing is more joyous that one phone call flashing on screen “Maa” or “Papa”

2.   Realizing that living on own is not as cool as we use to fantasize when we are “stuck” at home.

3.  Financial management. All of sudden you discover newfound respect for your father who has been doing this behind the scenes for the family all these years.

4.  You realize your mother is a human with magic powers. There is simply no other explanation for how she manages to keep the whole house clean and in place when you don't even know where to begin when it comes to making up your own bed. Forget the rest.

5.   Food at the right time and temperature is a myth. Unless of course, you are somewhere in the vicinity of the magician mentioned above. Gradually like me you too will develop love for cold food.

6.   You have to take each decision (career and relationships) and have to take the onus of it. There is no chance of faltering. This in my eyes has been the biggest challenge of all.

And perhaps because of these reasons I strongly believe that making a child stay in the hostel at some point in his academic lifetime is very important for his character development.

 P.S – and this will become your all time favorite nostalgic song:

If you miss the train I'm on, you will know that I am gone
You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles,
A hundred miles, a hundred miles, a hundred miles, a hundred miles,
You can hear the whistle blow a hundred miles.

Not a shirt on my back, not a penny to my name
Lord I can't go back-home this a-way
This a-away, this a-way, this a-way, this a-way,
Lord I can't go back-home this a-way.