Golden Rules Of Office Etiquette

Corporate Etiquette refers to set of rules an individual must follow while at work.One must respect his organisation and maintain the decorum of the place. Collaboration is the way we work now. That means people don't just work together in meeting and conference rooms anymore but are in collaboration all the time be it at personal, hallways, or virtually via internet or smart phones, and it's often spontaneous and informal, rather than planned in advance. Therefore keeping a fine balance between privacy and accessibility will improve relations with colleagues. 

People are watching - Don't do anything that you don't want the entire company to be talking about you for several years to come. It’s OK to drink in the party but it’s NOT OK to get drunk in the office party. Getting dunk and blabbering everything is a big NO NO. 

There is no such thing as free lunch - If you have asked someone for lunch or dinner please pay the bill, in case if this involve your senior then best way to handle is that you pay the bill in advance (if possible), so that at end of the meal chq is not presented and the question of who pays become moot. If you have been invited for lunch and dinner then please offer to split the bill. 

Unwritten rules that exist in the cubical workplace - One man’s music is another man’s noise so please keep your cell phone/landline phone tone moderate-low. Also keep your noise level in account, no one likes to hear constant chattering or high pitched laughing.Remeber this before using speakerphone. 

Key to treating people well - More than being friendly focus on being responsive because it is how a person responds to situations and to others goes long way. Some of the examples of responsive behaviour include willingness to collaborate, showing concern for others, being proactive to help others, ready to share information and accepting responsibility for one's mistakes.Please don't pop chewing gum in fromt of your co-worker or sneeze/cough in public without covering out mouth.

Action needed - what one says should match one's behaviour  failing to do so affect one's credibility to earn respect. One's actions should reflect what one feels and thinks and should not be swayed or influenced by popular opinion. Never criticise or make fun of any of your colleagues.There are several other ways to sort it out.sit with your colleagues, discuss issues face to face and decide on something which is mutually acceptable.

Positive Language: FOUL/ABUSIVE language is NOT COOL. The use of positive language when interacting with others encourages them to open up and this in turn makes it easy to understand what they want. Positive words carry no threat of offending or disappointing others but reflects one's willingness to understand the other person. 

My experience Reading "Our Moon Has Blood Clots” by Rahul Pandita.

This is the first book in my life where i started sobbing from its very first page "…an earlier time when flower was not stained and with blood ,the moon with blood clots!” - Pablo Neruda, ‘Oh, My Lost City'

This book has left me deeply pained and my heart has broken into pieces, not at a go-- but chunk by chunk …chapter by chapter. This book should be made a mandatory read for all college students(all streams), because Kashmir is in India and each one of us must know its story the way we know about Babri Masjid  and Godhra kand. Many Thanks to Rahul for writing this book.

The book forced me to think; that what mistake did the pandits do?are they the children of a lesser god?Why the pact made between Sheikh Mohammed Abdullah and J L Nehru turned out to be a joke and government did nothing for those innocent people who have been forced to leave their homes and live in exile in their own country?Why in India anyone can say anything against Hindus but it is a political sin to say negative about muslims?What makes them think that hindus can never be wronged - Political convenience, is it? Why this double standards? Why. Why. Why?

Anyone who has not witnessed and undergone this pain can never understand that how it feels to be thrown out from one’s own ancestral house. What it takes to live under constant pressure of “flee,convert or die” and what it means to see people/family being killed in cold blood by those who till yesterday was sharing lives in more ways than just one. Traumatised to learn that how muslims of the valley colluded with the militants to terrorise the Pandits. A complete ‘Bloodlust’. Pandita has given so many examples where neighbours ,childhood friends colleagues gave vital information about the pandits to the militants. In one such incident B K Ganju who found his name in the ‘hit list’ and decided to flee with his wife, but it was late as militant had already come looking for him, he hid himself in the rice drum, they couldn’t find him so they left but the very moment they were prompted by the muslim lady in the neighbourhood. The men returned and shot B K Ganju inside the drum.As they were coming down Mrs ganju asked them to kill her too on which they said ’No someone should be left to wail over his dead body’. 

Another such story was that of the Kashmiri poet and scholar Sarvanand Kaul ‘Premi’ who was secular to the core , had won many accolades and had taught for free in two schools , one run by the Islamic and the other by the Hindu educational Society.He and his son was taken by three armed men one night. Family waited but they never returned.Their bodies were found hanging from a tree a day later.

Reading that how muslim boys of the valley went for training in camps in POK and had arms, i wonder to myself that instead, if they would have supported the pandits in the valley Our Moon Would Not Have Blood Clots Today. 

So Ugly, So Painful.

This reminds me of the famous song from the movie ‘Upkaar’ sung by Manna Dey---

Duniya wale tera bankar tera hi dil todenge , dete hai bhagwan ko dhokha , insaan ko kya chhodenge,

kasmei waade pyar wafa sab, Baatei hain baato ka kya

Kam agar ye hindu ka hai, Mandir kisnei thoda hai , 

Muslim ka hai kaam agar ye , khuda ka ghar kyu toota hai,

jis majhab mei jayaz hai ye , WO MAJHAB HI JHOOTA HAI.

kasmei waade pyar wafa sab, Baatei hain baato ka Kaya

Pandita has vividly described that how valley had spiralled beyond control because of the war cries from the mosque like - ‘Aazadi ka matlab kya la ilaha illalaha’ ‘Yahan kya chalega nizam e mustafa’ and ‘Ae zaalimon, ae kafiron, Kashmir hamara chod do’  became a routine and how everyday after Jan 19 was Jan 19th, how in the name of ‘Azadi’ the pandits were hounded on the streets and killed brutally. A night when Jagmohan (governor of the valley) failed to do anything to prevent the exodus of the Pandits.It was a night where neighbours turned against neighbours, friends against friends and humanity rogered. Rahul has exposed the lie by politicians about Pandits being safe in the valley post 1990 by narrating about March 1997 when terrorists dragged out 7 Kashmiri Pandits from their house in Sangrampora village and gunned them down ,the Wandhama massacre of 1998 where 23 members of one family were gunned down by the militants (only one 14 yr old boy ’Vinod Dhar' survived because he had hid himself) and how later he narrated the story where he mentioned that when guns were being fired the muslims of the village increased the volume of the loudspeaker in the mosque to muffle the sound of the gunfire, how police called muslim wailing women for photo ops. Similarly Nandigram massacre on march 24th 2003 where 24 hindus were shot dead which included 2 infants and 11 women.

My Moments with the book:

1.Romantic - 40 page letters to beloveds until the wee hours till the electric motor pump would be switched on.

2.Funny -'Mountains can fly ,rivers can dry,you can forget me , but never can I’.Reminded me of my school days where i got a similar so called proposal greeting. Basis my experience it was very embarrassing to receive such a note and therefore i think even if Rahul would have let the driver give that card to the girl she would have definitely said no :-)

3.Raged -a. In srinagar they would deliberately cut off electricity at the telecast time of Ramayan, and then later Mahabharat b. Rehman the milkman saying that ‘The Dal eating Indians cannot fight Pakistan'.

4 Heartwrenching - a. helplessness during mother’s motor neurone disease b.Ravi, the brother/first hero who was dragged out of the bus and shot dead.

5.Devastating - a. Revisiting his house built by his father’s provident fund money, brick by brick and seeing it occupied by Muslim there.

6.Saddest - no campaigns were run for the Pandits, no fellowships or grants given for research on their exodus and media failed to see and speak, the inhuman living condition of the refugees,the workplace harrasment which women faced and how they thought that each day by going to work they leave behind something of their identity. 

7.Hope - People like Pandita and many others who have made their mission in life to talk about the ‘other story’ of Kashmir.

And yes Rahul Pandita! what you say to Irshad in your head will surely come true.Sooner or Later.

Thinking about Rahul Pandita i often wonder that how can people with such tortured heart have no hatred for those who have victimised them.He has written this book straight from his heart which is now stamped into ours.

This moment Javed Akhtar lyrics rings in my ears -

Lakh duniya kahe 'tum yahi ho'

Meri har soch me, meri har baat me

Mere ehsaas me, mere jazbaat me

Tumne chhoda hai kab saath mera

Thaame ho aaj bhi hath mera

Koi manzil koi rehguzar ho

Aaj bhi tum mere humsafar ho

Khushboo banke hawaaon me tum ho

Rang banke fizaaon me tum ho

Koi gaaye koi saans goonje

Sab sureeli sadaaon mein tum ho

Lakh duniya kahe 'tum yahi ho’

AND …….

'aql kehti hai ye duniya milti hai bazaar mei/dil magar ye kehta hai kuch aur behtar dekhiye'

Awesome Reads through the bookshelves by Ravi Subramanian!!

Banker by profession,more than two decades of banking experience in banks like Citibank, HSBC,ANZ Grindlays. Author of 5 popular thrillers about banking & bankers, including the Economist Crossword Book Award winning 'The Incredible Banker'.

Ravi Subramanian, an alumnus of IIM-Bangalore, a master story teller on banking and financial sector which comes from his more than two decades of work experience in Banking sector hence is very closely tied to the audience awareness. Coming from someone who has insider knowledge of the corporate "affairs" makes it very authentic and relevant. 

His book "The Incredible Banker" is the winner of the Golden quill Readers Choice Award. Except 2009 he has given best read every year starting 2007 till date. His latest book 'The Bankster' is a gripping nail-biting thriller. 

2007 If God Was a Banker

2008 I Bought the Monk’s Ferrari

2010 Devil in Pinstripes

2011 The Incredible Banker

2012 The Bankster

My experiences with his books have been fabulous. May be because being in the Banking & Finance industry i can totally relate to every bit of his book - so word by word , line by line. Also his books are much more than just love induced people in the bank. The fact remains that where there is money involved dirty games are sure to be played. Like plotting , money laundering , inflated bills, kickbacks etc etc). You can’t help but think and question the existing ways things are done which sometimes impact individuals, sometimes nations and sometimes globe. 

Though personally i feel that his books always make banking look far more interesting than it really is :-). The very thought makes my day most of the time. 

  

I have read all his 5 books. All his 5 novels are centred on the banking industry and the similarity ends here. Each one of them are very different from each other. The books are fiction yet real, absolutely gripping. 

Will share a personal experience - ‘If God Was a Banker' in 2007 (he won the Golden Quill Readers Choice award for his debut novel) - I picked this book one evening after coming back from the office (about 10 pm or so) and i failed completely to sleep without completing it.Since i am a slow reader i was awake till 4 am because it was impossible to stop in between.An irresistible,sleep-defying fiction. I was left both awestruck and dumbstruck and till date i can recall the book scene by scene like a movie. It was like a treat!! 

From his above mentioned first book till date there has never been a dull moment during the read period. Very fast paced and inter-connected plots will always keep your eyes and mind wide open. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ravi_Subramanian

Follow me @ppriya10 on Twitter

A SINGLE MUM'S DIARY

Single Mother - Thank God! Its not cancer, its just being a single mother so whats the big deal ?

Everything to myself , the house , the child , the decisions , no one to dominate , no one to force, a job to focus , friends to celebrate and a child to raise. sure its hard, but i can do it! … i mean everyone makes mistakes and so did i by marring the wrong guy, but so what ? I am a smart girl and have drawn wisdom from my past experiences and i learn to improve by each passing day.

when i was on my own with my newly born son i was scared not with the thought of not having  a man in my life but with the fear of the change , afraid of unknown, may be because we grow up reading mills and boon and fairy tales which make us believe that we need a man to complete us (live happily ever after) well we really don't. we think that we can't stand on our two feet while we can, so i decided to rework my thinking and take life as it comes and journey so far had been quite interesting, has kept me on my toes and has been very fulfilling.Truth is that it is only when i was left alone i got open to the best possibilities that can happen to me. I got the courage to embrace change, and never feared being alone or without a man.

For me it was by choice and here i am not spending time looking for a man but providing for my child. Yes! i am a single mother and it is a full  time job , twice the the work , twice the stress, twice the fun , twice the love and twice the pride . Its priceless!!!

I will be lying if i said that it has always been a hunky-dory life for me after the splitting up, with my newly born in my lap and no job. I mean i was just 23 and was sick of people asking me about my husband all the time - in office, neighbours, colleagues, friends even maid, chowkidar and driver."where is your husband","is he coming" Blah Blah!. I started to wonder that if, i am somehow defective.There have been moments when i have entered a room full of beautiful ladies boasting about their husband's lucrative positions ,precious gifts and luxurious vacations which they keep receiving from them, it was during such various occasions that i found myself on the verge of breaking down much more than just once, and i thought i can't take it anymore, and in order to shut them up i started lying that my husband stays out of station for work and we keep meeting on weekends etc. while some suggested take transfer , leave job , shift him , do this, do that but the final straw was when my friend seriously suggested that if i will not stay with him he will have an affair and will desert me. Really, now! what next? Thats the time when i said to myself that enough is enough and its time to take charge of things in a more mature manner and the first was to be honest and prepare myself before i could prepare my son to deal with the situation. As they say "honesty is the best policy" my life and the whole perspective towards everyone changed from that very moment.. I found a winner! " we are divorced" was all i had to say and since then keeping it short and simple has been the best way to deal with the whole situation.

Being a single mother came naturally to me as i was separated with my husband during my pregnancy.Now it has been 10 years and it is so much fun to see my son smart, charming and thoughtful. Juggling jobs , shifting places gave me less time to devote to, but what are those fee-charging boarding schools for? This has given my child 24/7access to teachers and learning facilities and supervised homework sessions each night, which usually means far better grades. He has developed a sense of independence while still being in a safe, secure and supervised environment. Travel time to and from school is eliminated, allowing more time for study, sports and social interactions. He is learning to live with others outside the family and the life-skills that go along with this.I always try and show him the brighter side of being in a boarding school so that he can have a fulfilled life with heart filled with happiness and no regrets. I make him speak to adults who went to boarding schools and acknowledges that it was best time of their lives.During his vacations we make most of our time together which includes going for movies, dinners , taking beach vacations, quick trip to nanihal etc.We discuss his mild emotional challenges that he experiences including peer problems, teasing, homesickness and help to determine how to cope. 

Certain section of the society may seem to be cold most at times towards single mother and their would be some who will give mixture of pity and awe looks , but to make things simpler, you do what you have to do and move on in life. Children growing up with both parents is undoubtedly better but not at all cost.I will rather do it all by myself than with someone who doesn't want to do it. The message which i want to echo from this article is that please stop worrying that your child is missing out on anything, believe in yourself because confidence and positive attitude is very contagious, just try to give your best and be the constant stable thing in his life, never have-harbour negative feeling in front of the child, show him the brighter side of men/life (even if you don't believe in it) and if need be so find an appropriate outlet to vent out your negative feelings.As they say "Life is a great leveller" which means that for every bad things which happens to us will be balanced out with the great things, so lets go out … Dream. Explore and Live.

will end this article by my all time favourite poem by kafi azmi 

tod kar rasm ke but bare qadamat se nikal (Emerge out of ancient bondage, break the idols of tradition)

zof-e-ishrat se nikal, vaham-e-nazaakat se nikal(the weakness of pleasure, this mirage of fragility)

nafs ke khiinche hue halq-e-azmal se nikal(these self-drawn boundaries of imagined greatness)

yeh bhii ek qaid hii hai, qaid-e-muhabbat se nikal(the bondage of love, for this too is a bondage)

raah kaa khaar hii kyaa gul bhii kuchalnaa hai tujhe(Not merely the thorns on the path, you have to trample on flowers too)

uth merii jaan mere saath hii chalnaa hai tujhe(Arise, my love, for now you must march with me.)